Uncovering My Heritage

In September 2023, I began a painting that I thought would simply explore my heritage. What I didn’t expect was how far the piece would take me—not just into the history of my people, or into the heart of my own experiences and emotions, but also to Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Over the course of the last year, this project evolved, layer by layer, into something much deeper than I anticipated.

My family is from Jersey City, where most of my mom’s family still lives. My dad’s brothers also moved to South Jersey, and my dad’s sisters moved to another state. Growing up in South Jersey, it was just me, my two cousins, and two brothers, immersed in American culture. I was raised in a predominantly white neighborhood outside of Atlantic City, and my family was one of the first Puerto Rican families to live there. Without speaking Spanish and without relatives nearby, I often felt like a stranger to my own heritage. My only influence from our culture came during the holidays, when we would visit family up north. I held on to those moments of connecting with my cousins, aunts, and uncles. A lot of my inspiration in art, music, and fashion came from interactions with my older cousin Nina. And although those moments were short-lived, they are memories I’ll always cherish.

This painting was a way for me to reconnect with that part of myself. It was an opportunity to explore what being Puerto Rican means to me. Interestingly, the connection I made with my sister-in-law happened serendipitously. I was dropping off my artwork in Brooklyn when she, who now lives in Miami, just so happened to be visiting her family. That moment was purely magical, and as a result of that meeting, I got to learn about her history growing up in Williamsburg. She shared her personal connection to the neighborhood and even took me to Domino Park. Her grandmother worked at the Domino Sugar Factory back in the 1950s, and now that area has been transformed into a multi-use building, though a part of the history was preserved in the park. It was a stark reminder of how much has changed, yet how our people’s labor built these places.

The best part of reconnecting with my sister-in-law was not only meeting my niece for the first time, but the timing of it all. My mom had already planned a visit to see my sister-in-law and niece, and since she was in the neighborhood, she was able to stop by the gallery and see my painting in person. It felt like everything aligned perfectly, as if the work I was doing in this piece was bringing me closer to my roots, both artistically and personally.

There’s also another layer to my family’s history that I’ve struggled with for years. My father’s side is entirely Puerto Rican, but on my mother’s side, my grandfather was from Spain. When he married my grandmother, part of his family disowned him for marrying a Puerto Rican woman. This story has always weighed on me, symbolizing the complex and sometimes painful relationship between the colonizer and the colonized. Yet, amidst this chaos, love still happened. Despite Spain’s oppression of Puerto Rico, without my grandparents falling in love I wouldn’t be here, and there’s something profoundly beautiful in that. It’s this idea of finding beauty within chaos that has helped me come to terms with my mixed heritage. It’s been a lifelong conflict, but I’m learning to accept the part of me that comes from Spain.

I also wanted this piece to reflect the larger historical context of Puerto Rico. Christopher Columbus arrived in Puerto Rico in 1493, claiming the land for Spain. The island was under Spanish control until the Spanish-American War in 1898, when the United States took over. Since then, Puerto Rico has remained a US territory, and the fight for independence has been ongoing. I wanted the painting to serve as a reminder of the ongoing struggle for Puerto Rico’s sovereignty and the resilience of its people. There’s still so much work to be done to achieve true independence and allow Puerto Rico to thrive as a nation. It’s something that I, like many others, continue to hope for.

This entire process has stirred feelings of grief, anger, and longing for connection. While I’ve gained more insight into my heritage, I’ve also had to confront the ways I’ve been disconnected from it for much of my life. That yearning led me to apply for the Nueva York exhibition, where this painting was shown at the AMPM Gallery for Latine Heritage Month. Getting accepted into this exhibition was the connection I was looking for. It brought me to a very Puerto Rican neighborhood in Brooklyn and even led me to reconnect with my own family.

This painting has been an intense emotional and artistic journey for me. It’s a reflection of my complex identity and the history of my people, and I’m proud to be showing it as part of this exhibition. This piece honors the resilience of Puerto Ricans and the deep cultural legacy we continue to carry with us.